Sex and Love Addiction

BlueSkies offers recovery services for a number of behavioural addictions including sex and love addiction. Although behavioural addictions are not necessarily as easily recognised as addictions to drugs or alcohol, their consequences can be just as devastating. This reality is easily seen in the lives of sex and love addicts who have allowed their problems to consume them.

It would be helpful for us to define the two addictions before going any further. You should know that love and sex addictions are two separate things, although they may overlap in many cases. There are people who suffer from both simultaneously. Below is a brief description of each one:

  • Sex Addiction A sex addiction is characterised as any sexual activity over which the sufferer believes he/she has no control. For example, someone who compulsively views pornography on a frequent basis may be diagnosed as a sex addict if he/she feels he/she cannot stop him/herself from doing so. Sex addiction can involve everything from masturbation to viewing pornography to engaging in sexual encounters with partners.
  • Love Addiction A love addiction is characterised by an unreasonable dependence or emotional attachment for one’s happiness and/or fulfilment. Someone with a love addiction becomes emotionally attached very easily, even to strangers whom he or she has never met. The individual is unable to control his or her emotional attachments as well.

Some patients suffer from just one addiction or the other. However, there are patients who are dealing with both simultaneously, with one addiction being the stronger of the two. Both types of problems generally require experienced professional help to completely overcome. Attempting to overcome on your own is not advisable as it can lead to a never-ending cycle of attempting and failing.

Recognising Sex and Love Addiction

Are you suffering from a sex or love addiction? Do you know the signs and symptoms? Unfortunately, sex and love addictions often go untreated because our culture does not know how to spot the signs and symptoms. Those signs and symptoms are very real.

A person in the throes of a sex addiction is a person who will frequently engage in all sorts of sexual behaviours with seemingly no forethought. The sex addict will have multiple sex partners at any given time; he or she will have no personal boundaries for acceptable sexual conduct; he or she will constantly be looking to ‘up the game’ to achieve sexual gratification.

A person in the midst of a love addiction will routinely engage in emotional relationships rooted in fantasy. They will regularly talk about falling in love, often with multiple individuals simultaneously. Interestingly enough, someone suffering from love addiction will withdraw socially, preferring to invest time in emotional fantasies rather than real relationships.

Both types of addictions share some common signs, explaining why the two problems often overlap. Those common signs include developing unrealistic expectations for partners, blaming partners when fantasies go unfulfilled, and withdrawing and abstaining for short periods under the mistaken belief that doing so constitutes recovery.

Treatment Options

Sex and love addictions often have their roots in some other emotional challenge encountered in a person’s past. Successful treatment includes identifying those challenges so that they can be appropriately addressed. BlueSkies relies on a variety of treatment methods to help individuals overcome sex and love addiction.

We utilise individual counselling, group counselling, 12-step work, and other therapies proven to be effective for behavioural addictions. Rest assured that each client is treated as an individual with his or her unique needs and circumstances. We customise our treatment plans accordingly.

If you suspect you might be in the midst of a sex or love addiction, we invite you to call and speak with one of our counsellors. We are standing by to help you get answers to your questions and, if appropriate, arrange admittance to one of our recovery programmes.


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  • Farnham
  • Surrey
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